Peace in Chaos Podcast *Manifesto

Listen to my "manifesto" HERE or click below:

 

What is your parenting manifesto?

Here's my best attempt to explain why we parent the way to parent:

In our culture infants are an inconveniences, toddlers are crazy, grade schoolers are annoying, middle schoolers are awkward, and teenagers are just idiots. And then it continues: young adults are out of touch real with reality. And then it continues middle-aged people are lame, and the elderly are useless.

So my question is: when do we have value? when are we accepted? when is our identity not shaped by what the world says?

God made each person. And he made each person a whole person. And he made each person in His image with his heart.

We have to act out of Truth. we have to model for our children that they have value and worth at every age at every level and every stage of life. We don't need to talk down to them we don't need to water down the truth we don't need to think of them in a negative light. what good is that doing, except making ourselves feel better about our feelings?

We need to treat them how we want to be treated. Isn’t this what we all want? Don't  we all want genuine connection, affection, affirmation, and truth?

We need to speak truth into them: the truth of what we know that they were made to be, and what they can be, not what we see right now. We need to be their biggest encouragers, vision-casters, and co- dreamers. we need to consider their developmental level, and that their brains are still forming, while at the same time considering that they are born a whole person and have whole value, furthermore ETERNAL value.

We need to see them how God sees them. while their brains might still be forming, they don't have immature Holy Spirits... they have the same Holy Spirit that we have, right?

This should cause us to have healthy expectations. Expectations that consider that their reasoning center and their critical thinking enter of their brains is still developing, but that we can train them to know truth and to think critically. That we can train them to make good choices. That we can remind them and train them that they are kind and loving and patient and peacemakers.

We tell them who they are, and shouldn't we be telling them who God says they are? Everything is else is a LIE. They are made in His image, they are sons and daughters of a high king, nothing can make God love them more or less, that they have an internal inheritance, Jesus died for all of their sins, He has given them all of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and He has a big purpose and plan for their life.

We get the honor of drowning out the lies with truth. We get the honor of training them in righteousness. We get the joy of seeing misbehavior as an opportunity. An opportunity to see what is truly going on in their hearts and minds, to meet them where they're at, and to come alongside them and point them to a better way. His ways.

The very beginning of the Bible starts with Adam and Eve being made in the image of God, giving them identity & purpose, and yet he also gave them total free will. And with that free will, they made the wrong choice. God could have made them total robots that only do what makes Him look good and what He wants them to do. But He let them mess up and there were major consequences to that bad choice, but the point is he let it happen. and the rest of the story of the entire Bible is him giving person after person chance after chance to do things His way...to bring them back to Him to connect them to Him.

The Bible is full of story after Story of Him reminding people of who He says they are. It is full of second choices, “try-agains”, do-overs. There are not many stories in the Bible of people getting it right the first time and doing exactly what God tells them to do. Why do we expect this of our children? Why do we expect this of still developing minds? Is this how God Parents us?

It's time for us to explore our motivations. It's time for us to dig deep in figure out why we are so uncomfortable when children misbehave. Why do we need to control them? Why do we need them to do exactly what we say when we say it the first time? Why are we so easily angry and frustrated? Why are we not okay with them not being “okay”? Why are we constantly reacting instead of responding with empathy and peace? What do we need to unlearn?

How often do we think of why we are parenting the way we parent? How how often do we think of the long-term repercussions of how we parent our children? What is Our intention, what is our purpose, what is our motivation?

This is not about giving permission for them to do whatever they want or get away with everything. This also is not about dictating and correcting their every move. This is about training, connecting, forgiving,discipling, guiding, re-directing, and encouraging. It's about giving our best, yet imperfect attempt to parent how God parents us (while understanding we are all going to go about it differently because no two parents are the same). He's both gentle and firm, grace and truth, patient and pressing. He's a good, good Father.